There's more to life that this

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed. I just wish that the diabetes would go away and leave my son and I alone. Then I sit and try to get my mind off of it.  I go on YouTube, I play games on facebook. YouTube is always a great way to get my mind off of it and reminds me that I should be thankful I have my son with me. I came across this memorial video of a 5 month old boy named Matthew. He was diagnosed with Trisomy- 13 when his mother was 19 weeks pregnant with him. He lived for 5 months. What a miracle. His mother had to have been so strong to keep her child and know that he wasn't going to live. And here I am, treating my son's diagnosis like it's the end of the world. When I see stories like this, I feel so upset with myself for doing so. This woman lost her baby. Her precious little boy to a horrible genetic mutation. My son is still here and can lead a healthy lifestyle with the right diet, medications and exercise. This woman will be in my prayers.

On another note, while I was surfing you tube I came across another story of another 5 month old child. This story is a few years old, but still disturbing. A little angel name Brianna was beat, bit and raped by her father, uncle and mother until she was killed. What kind of person does this? Who could even think of doing this to someone who grew in you, who depended on you and just wanted to be loved? Part of me hopes that little Brianna's mother comes across this blog so I can tell her this:
You are nothing. You are evil. You don't deserve to live outside of prison walls. You should be sterilized. How can you face yourself? You let the father of your child and your brother beat and rape your child. You bit her continuously. You are just evil. God may have forgiven you, and I know it's wrong, but I haven't. You just DON'T do that to a child. Children are the most precious gift that God has given us, besides his love and forgiveness. The only good thing that came out of this is that Baby Brianna is now with God and isn't suffering at the hands of you, a horrific, disgusting, no good, evil monster.

I apologize to you guys for that. I am just so angry right now. Who does that to their own child? I look at my sweet little boy and all I want to do is attack him with kisses. Which I do and then he gets mad at me and yells at me, but that's besides the point. lol. My son is my everything. He is my world. I try so hard to keep him healthy. How could I let anything bad happen to him? I don't. I would hurt someone if they EVER touched my son. And I know for a fact that so would my family and friends. He is the most wonderful child ever. Thank you God for sending me my baby. Diabetic or not, he was here to save me too. My little Super Boy.

Look at this face, who wouldn't want to attack him with hugs and kisses? :-) <3 <3 <3

The journey begins part 2

Where did I leave off last? Oh yes, His pediatrician said that he wouldn't experience any type of symptoms until the age of 1 1/2 or 2. So, I didn't look for symptoms. I also didn't want to. I wanted my baby boy to be healthy.

April 15, 2012. It was a Sunday. We went to church and he was cranky, but I just thought he was a little sleepy. So I tried to put him to take a nap, but he wouldn't so I just dealt with him as best I could during church. After church, we went to my parents' house, where I dropped him off and went to work. I didn't really anticipate anything, I thought it was a regular day.

Work was busy, as usual. The phone rang, but we had too many customers at the counter to answer. Then my cell phone rang. I let it go. Then it rang again, this time I checked to see who it was, my parents' house number. I figured if they called again, I'd say I had to go to the bathroom. But they didn't. The last time the phone rang, it was the work phone and one of my coworkers picked it up. He told me that some lady was on the phone. So I answered. "Elliot was acting weird and he was drinking a lot of water and I changed his diaper 5 times already. So me and mom (my grandmother) checked his sugar twice. The first time it was 445, then 15 minutes later it was 457. I called Dr. Smith and he said just to bring Elliot into Children's in Boston."

I was speechless. I just told my mom I'd let a manager know that I needed to leave then hung up. I apologized to my coworkers, told them it was an emergency and I needed to leave. Then I went to the closing manager and told him the baby might have diabetes and I would need to leave early. The manager that was on duty knew me and he knew that this was my worst nightmare.

It really didn't hit me until I was sitting outside waiting for my dad to pick me up and trying to get a hold of my husband. My cousin called me in between the multiple phone calls I was making to my husband's cell phone. As soon as she said, "He's going to be ok, Jesus is going to work on him", I fell to my knees and started to cry. My cousin was crying on the phone, praying and trying to comfort me and all I could do was blame myself for giving my baby this disease.

We go to Children's, and they start poking and prodding my 10 month old. He's crying, I'm crying, my husband is in disbelief. The doctor came in and told everyone what we already knew... He has Juvenile Diabetes. Once the doctor left, I collapsed into my husband while my aunt and my mother tried to console me. The first phone call I made was to my best friend Mollie. She just listened as I cried into the phone. Then she sent me inspiring texts messages filled with scriptures.

We spent a week there. Just brushing up on how to take care of an infant with diabetes, learning his regimen, teaching family members how to do up his insulin shots and count carbs.

The last 9 months have gone by so quickly. He's growing to be such a strong boy. He lets us know when his sugar is low, when it's high. It still pains me to know that my sweet little boy has this horrible disease inside of him. Currently, we are in the process in getting him and insulin pump. The pump has helped me so much. I know it will help him too.